Meeting With the Cake Designer

Tomorrow we are meeting with the cake designer (shout out to Ashlee at Colville Custom Cakery) at 10 am to do a taste testing. I planned on giving her the topper, some ribbon, and some accessories that will be used on the cake, along with a deposit but ran short of that. So I feel even more stressed that I cant even give the chic $50 to save the date (though Im sure she will anyways, money is a great incentive.) The cake to the left is my inspiration for what I would like. Although not 5 tiers, I only want 3 tiers. Square. Ribbon on the bottom and the top layer. My beautiful cursive "M" topper and  some diamond accessories. In the middle I would like either filligree, paisley, or swirls like on our invitations... and I was hoping for a chocolate cake with raspberry filling and maybe buttercream frosting. But PJ wants marble or vanilla and no filling at all. So we'll see what happens. I'll pretty much just show Ashlee the picture of this cake, give her a few of my ideas, and leave it all up to her, since she is the professional anyways. Im sure she will make me something beautiful <3

Besides sounding really happy about my cake, which I am - I guess since the miscarriage my body is finally back to normal? Not sure how I feel about that statement. I now have my first actual period since. And it is distgusting, sorry. It started with cravings. I just wanted to go through my fridge a few times in the middle of the night and stuff my fat face. Then I started feeling irritable and annoyed at work at the slightest things. Which, people did notice. Then the lower back cramps started and today it is just throbbing. Not to mention I am an emotional wreck. I am just so stressed out. Feeling shitty like this (might I add on a beautiful day, and I can't go lay on the beach and tan) and worrying about paying bills and paying for a wedding is driving me psychotic. Poor PJ. I am just the bride-to-be from hell. And I don't mean to be. Because he works way more hours than I do, and much harder labor (so I am actually proud and thankful of that) but I still dont like the fact that he pays $800 a month child support, our bills have been running late, we just make rent, and in the meantime of all that, we have to still pay for the cake, pay off the J.P, get his daughter a dress, still get our wedding rings, get our marriage license, and a few more decorations for the reception. I'm also worried that I haven't went and paid off my dress (a dress of which I am not 100% on, I was rushed my one and only day at the bridal shop, and everyone else liked the dress more than I did. I just need one more day to try stuff on and make a decision before paying that off) then have to find shoes and accessories and worry about how I am going to feed 200 people. We have barely any hours at work, and even if we did, I am just so run down most of the time I can barely work extra hours without collapsing! Needless to say, I just sent PJ out on a walk to find me Midol and some Cherry Garcia icecream. I felt sick all day so ate really light so I know that I am low in calories and eating a quarter of this pint will not put me over.... so that is what I am going to do now, and watch a movie with my babe as soon as he gets bac, and try to be my usual sweet self and not let this PMS ruin my life too badly. Toodles.

PS - ANYONE THAT WANTS A LAYOUT SIMILAR TO THIS, COMMENT BELOW WITH A FEW IDEAS AND/OR QUOTES, OR EMAIL ME SOME PICTURES THAT YOUD LIKE ME TO USE, AND I CAN EMAIL YOU BACK THE CODE TO COPY & PASTE.  For free ofcourse. I did web design for 4 years before I started working in the pharmacy and I miss it sometimes. And... I would love to credit the site where I got all this cool stuff to make my layout, but at the moment I cant remember. I know its from one of my links on the bottom right though.