Sunday, June 20, 2010

Long Walk on the Beach

These are my tired legs after my long walk on the beach.

Let me just brag about how proud of myself I am.
Something that may come easy for others, is sometimes a challenge for someone else. Like... walking in public, while wearing a bathing suit, in a cute little dress, alone. Not to mention where I live, Hampton Beach, NH (google it - tourist attraction mania.) I cannot tell you when the last time I remember wearing any sort of dress was? Maybe when I was like 12 for some family pictures. And even then I felt very self concious and almost refused to go out in public. Ofcourse, around the house infront of PJ (whom Ive been with 8 years) I wear sexy nightgowns and stuff cuz he would never judge me & I prance around like Im a hott thang. But out in public is totally different. Although I do feel like I am fabulous and beautiful 95% of the time.... there is that other 5% when I feel like I am fat, and nobody wants to look at a fat chick, and when I walk by people I feel saggy, slumpy, embaressed, and not so sexy or fabulous at all. Although for the first time last year I picked up a few cute bathing suits (at 277 lbs) and did wear them to the beach with a pair of shorts - I have never gone out in public with any type of dress. Friday night I went out on a date with my best GAY friends James and Dave. I just wanna put out there that they are gay, and not dating, but the most amazing two feminine and sweet men I have ever met. I dont want you to think I just go out on random dates with men when Im getting married in August. Anywho..... we went to Bugaboo Creak for dinner and then shopping at Old Navy where James bought me the cutest brown dress. You can see in the picture, its just above the knee length and its got strings around the neck to hold it up with little beads. Its very cute.

Well, today was about 100 degrees and I was bored and lonely. PJ hates the ocean and hates the sun, so trying to get him to go out on the beach with me is pretty much impossible. I grabbed my MP3 player, cellphone, and foldup chair and pranced my ass across the street and right onto the beach. I sat out, under the hot sun for about an hour, got bored and came back home. After a long nap I decided to try this again. This time I walked probably 2-3 miles up the beach, feet in the water, and enjoyed the sun and scenery. It was really the first time that I had gone out in public in a dress. And that seems silly to others, that something so simple is such a milestone for me, at almost 30. And I have only lost about 15 lbs, I cant even imagine when Im done 50 lbs how amazing I will feel... and confident <3 Im looking forward to opening up my wardrobe and shopping in smaller sizes and I just hope that my weightloss will continue and I will do as well as Im doing now, or even better.

Have YOU overcome a simple milestone in your weightloss yet that youd like to share with me?!

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