Thursday, October 22, 2009

Getting Skinny Seems Unrealistic

Day 6:
I've never been this motivated before. I have never had it deadset in my brain that I actually want to do this, like I do now. All I keep thinking about is why I want to do this. I want to be able to go shopping in Charlotte Russe & all those other skinny stores in the mall. Seriously, almost all of my friends are beautiful AND skinny. When we would take trips to the mall it would be no fun for me at all, I would have a fake smile on my face. Shopping plus size is not fun unless you are with another plus size gal. The only thing I could buy from the skinny stores are shoes or accessories! And the only plus size stores around here aren't even all that great. And I only wear their clothes cause I have no other choice. We have- Fashion Bug, Avenue, Lane Bryant, and Dots. Sometimes I can find something in Marshalls or TJ Maxx, but for the most part I am too pissed off by the end of a shopping day to even make a purchse. I know that I am beautiful and fabulous just the way I am. But I am sick of being fat.

Getting skinny just seems unrealistic though. I have seen other bloggers here and adored their weightloss pictures and been so motivated by them! But when it comes to yourself losing 50-100 lbs doesnt it just seem impossible sometimes? Like.... I cant even picture myself under 200 lbs and wearing a size 10 even! All I want is to walk into a skinny store, buy whatever I want, and nothing stop me! Not my fat thighs, or my 2 stomachs ;)

It has been 6 days. I feel like I am doing everything right. I am sucking up as much knowledge of successfull weightloss as I can. I am counting calories and changed my diet. Eating as healthy as I can. No more soda what so ever. I never eat candy or sweets as it is so that's easy enough. Im drinking as much water as I can tolerate, which isnt much- maybe 8 to 32 oz a day. I know I need more. I havent been to a gym but Im doing weird exercises in my living room when I am bored & Ive walked the last 3 days now & attempted jogging. At work I see people with big, delicious, Starbuck's lattes & expresso's and I want one so bad. Someone put out a dish of licorice candies. Not to mention for lunch yesterday a few people ordered Chinese and it stunk up the whole pharmacy & I felt starved LOL Meanwhile I had tunafish & 13 crackers to be exact!!! Am I doing everything right here? I know I wont see results in the first week but when will I start to see a little something ya know? I just feel like everything happens to slow with weightloss..... I need some motivation this morning. Working 12:30-8 Toodles.....

Called Out Of Work.
Got all ready for work then made another pit stop in the bathroom & decided to just call out. I struggle every day with my Cystic Fibrosis. One day I am consipated, while the next I cant leave the toilet cause I have diahhrea. Sorry too much information for you, but that is a day in the life of ME! I have to constantly worry about taking my enzymes to digest my food. I should be cleaning myself out every weekend, which I dont do, cuz I dont want to deal with the diahhrea. I should have always ate healthy since birth, and being diagnosed with CF. Im sure there's some guidlelines to what I should & shouldnt have to make me feel better and to live a better CF Life? But no ones ever taught me that. Im glad that I am finally making the choice now to eat right & Im hoping it will help with my digestive tract. And Im sure feeling this way today has something to do with the big change I have made in my diet, right? My stomach is achey & crampy and I cant get off the toilet and I feel like Im being cleansed of all the junk I ate before. But this sucks. And I just had to call my work and tell them I wasnt gonna be there today. And its always hard in the pharmacy when you are a man short. But you know what- I dont feel like having cold sweats while I am there. And I dont feel like having to explain to anyone all day why I am in & out of the bathroom. Ugg. So Im just gonna take another shower, and make today a ME day. Throw my pajamas back on. Not eat much cause I just want my stomach to feel better. And hopefully tomorrow I will wake up feeling 100%.


  1. I think you are doing a great job! It is a long haul though. I am like you and I am stinking to it till I see 100 pounds gone. It is hard to imagine but we can do it!!
    I think you will see some results in the first week. Just remember slow and steady...

  2. What I think to myself when I feel overwhelmed is quite simply, there are 52 weeks in a year, if I loose 1lb a week I will loose 52 lbs in a year. And I know there are people out there that loose way more than 1lb a week, I eventaully want to get there, but I feel like its better to start out slow. You cant change your life overnight, its just not possible to make lasting changes that way. I am really proud of you for giving up soda and sticking with it! 1lb is hard to notice, but they will add up over time. Also, I would recomend getting a work out video, or if you have netflix watch some instantly on their, that way you arent just doing random exercizes you get bored, but actual workouts, even if they are just 10 minuets long. And honestly, its better that it feels slow then to fast, to fast means you will have all sorts of extra skin to deal with and who wants that? Keep up the good work, and get that mesuring tape, I have seen more results in inches then I have in lbs.

  3. I'm so proud of you Feli for sticking to your guns. It's really hard, I know. Have you tried flavored water?

  4. Hey Maricza- I drink Poland Spring's water at work which is DELICIOUS. And when Im home I have Adirondack flavored water, which is just okay.

    And thank you Tucker & Binge Wagon. I love that there are people who actually take the time to read what I write and can give me helpful feedback.

  5. You are definitely in need of a close relationship with a really smart health care provider. Are you confiding this information to the pharmacist at your workplace? Maybe they will have a recommendation ...

    YIKES! You have a lot on your plate. You can do this!



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